I feel very fortunate to have had a strong testimony at an
early age. I felt the spirit with me often and was taught by my loving parents
what that feeling was and how I could keep it with me. I remember referring to
the feeling as "feeling like I was home.” I so looked forward to my
baptism, and when it came it was as good as I had hoped it would be. When I was
coming out of the water I felt such an overwhelming feeling of love—a strong
sensation that swept over my body from head to toe. Again, I felt that familiar
warm spirit, and felt at home. The next day, men I loved and admired put their
hands on my head and gave me the gift of the Holy Ghost. I remember that as
soon as the words "receive the Holy Ghost" were pronounced, the
spirit flooded me from the top of my head and down my arms and legs, until I
felt completely wrapped up in a big warm hug. I cried as the rest of the
blessing was given and when it ended I got up, hugged my dad and older
brothers, and then walked to the bench where my family was sitting. My eyes and
face were flooded with tears and a lady sitting next to us just giggled and
said "Oh isn't that just sweet?" I wanted to turn around and say
"But can't you feel it too?" A few other people came up after the
meeting and said that it was so cute to see me crying. I didn't know why they
were so surprised because I figured they had that feeling with them, too. They
must've thought I was a bit silly. But as I have grown and progressed I have
had many times where I've felt the spirit impact me in such a way that my
emotions can't be repressed and the veil feels very thin. It's a familiar
feeling that sweeps away all my sorrow and fears.
Now that I am a mother, I feel like there have been chambers
of my heart that have been found and are now open and flowing with more love
than I ever could've imagined. When I look at my children and think of the
endless love I feel for them, I feel honored that I have Heavenly parents that
feel the same for me. Just being a mother has been a witness for me of God’s
love. I'm so, so grateful that He has allowed me that insight.
I also marvel at the thought that my Heavenly Father thinks
that I'm worth saving. He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to die for me. Even with
hundreds of imperfections and bad habits and with my growing list of things I
need to change and work on. I, somehow, am worth it to Him! That is incredibly
humbling to me.
My life has been filled with a bunch of little experiences
in which I have felt my Heavenly Father's love. Though I can't see Him, and
sometimes I have wondered if He's too busy for me, I always come back to the
feeling deep inside that I am loved by Him, that He has time enough for me, and
that He leads me along life's path. I have seen and felt His hand too many
times to deny the fact that He loves me. Somehow, He does. I can feel it. It's
warm, it's all encompassing, and it's familiar. And someday when the veil is
lifted, I will know why it felt like home.
